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Wednesday, December 31, 2008
I cannot stop thinking!
It just kept haunting.
Kept flowing back into my mind!
Argh!

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Tuesday, December 30, 2008
IFEELSODUMB!!!
Why?!?!
Argh!!

I cannot believe it!
No more next time, definitely.
I'm so sorry =(

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Monday, December 29, 2008
2 more days to New Year's Eve.
3 more days to 2009.
6 more days to going back to that bloody hell school!
Why can't holiday be longer?!?!

Haiz.
I don't know if i'm thinking too much or what.
*pout... if i continue like this, he'll start worrying =(

Am i doing the right thing??
Or should i just shun while i can?
But i just felt that i should just do what i can.
Hmmm.

Be happy k?

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Sunday, December 28, 2008
Was late for work again despite hearing darling's voice on the other line, trying to wake me up.
Then became someone's maid, unknowingly.
Lol.
As i said, there's not one day i'm not in trouble.
Smart-alec broke a wine glass today -.-
Yeah... me.
Fuck man. I knew it would slip through my fingers somehow, 'cause the glasses are totally different from Ritz's, yet i still go ahead, refusing to use the tray, and slot a total of 9 glasses in one hand.
It was supposed to be ok de.
But like i said, the glasses are different from the usual glasses.
Regrets.
Damn paisei.

Everything went fine till the evening.
Talked cock with wilson throughout the whole event.
I'm never going to run off halfway through work.
Geez... first time wanting to go off early, tio spam like wtf.
Cannot take it. Lol.
Today will be the first and the last time.

So forgot to claim my taxi fare & went to meet up with Shaheeb, Square & their friends.
Went to Haji Lane to have shisha. There's a small gig going on down there la. Don't know what they're main purpose there is for, but yeah.
Was tricked into trying shisha, Shaheeb's the culprit!
Lol. Damn. I'll never touch it again, swear!
It was nice la. As in the atmosphere, felt relaxing.
Not bored, but abit too tired.
Well, that's all bout today la.
Only that i almost kena screened by police.
Lucky me =)


I felt abit stupid but assure.
Geez. I don't get why i have to feel all emo suddenly and blurt out everything to him.
But everything's ok now.
So i'll just keep my mouth shut for the time being.
God. Well done Cherlyn Lok =.=

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Saturday, December 27, 2008
Things are going pretty well when the year is coming to an end.
Although going seperate ways, we can be good friends.
I'm satisfied already =)

Most important thing is, you to be happy.

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Friday, December 26, 2008
Okay!
Christmas just ended and...
Today's Boxing Day!
Ummm... i don't exactly know what this day's all about.
But i think it's some day related to Christmas.
*shrug
Enlighten me =)

Spent my Christmas Day with darling at Vivo.
I felt super bad for him to wait for a whole 1.5hrs for me la.
As usual, i'm overslept and woke up late. -.-"
Leopards never change its spots eh.
Watched Twilight and there we started our story too.
He's damn cute i swear =D
It's been so long since i felt so happy.
The first sign of the good year.

Then comes the Christmas Night.
Went to have dinner with the company.
Don't get surprised.
It's just me. I spilled a glass of red wine & it broke into pieces in my hands when i tried to save it.
Wthell! There's not a day i wouldn't be in any trouble.
It's either i fall and hurt myself or others getting hurt 'cause of me or something just happen because of my presence.
I don't know if i'm lucky to still be alive from all that banging into things and fallings or counted as a jinx.
Ok. Back to what i was saying.
Down 3 glasses of red wine.
Plus i'm super tired = Super tipsy.
Fun didn't just end there yet.
The whole gang decided to go chill at Pasir Ris Beach Pub.
Drank Mango Margharita. I think it's nice =)
Had some crazy fun with the ladies.
And home sweet home.
Cue was given by me, when darling saw me resting my head on my hand.
Lol. Damn tired.
Slept throughout the whole journey home.
A big hug from darling and a sweet peck on my head.
Unexpected Christmas present, but i loved it <3

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I can't believe i actually managed to move on!
I'm so happy for myself.
Blissed.

Thanks for all the promises and assurances.
Muackz.

The most lovely Christmas.

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Thursday, December 25, 2008
I'm a happy girl =)
And i think that's what every of my lovely peeps want to see.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

ILOVE my brother so so much.
He's the person i respect, am proud of and always gives me BIG surprises unexpectedly.
I just gave him a really small present for Christmas.
And he actually bought me something i have always wanted!
Armani Emporia, Diamond!
He's the greatest brother i swear.
Muackz... LoveYouLoads.

I'm not being thick skinned.
But i think i'm really a very nice girl who's willing to help with almost everything.
You can never find another one like me, maybe you will, but chances are slim.
Who will go and do such a thing man.
Tell me who la.
You can say i'm dumb or trying to get somethingin return by doing so.
Well... i can tell you straight in the face.
I did and helped willingly, with no wanting of returns in mind.
I did as i promised.

I did what normal girls won't normally do.
Am i a saint or what??
I'm just proud of myself now, although i still depend on others, but i can confidently bring my message across.
Not affected, not looking back.
Just happy, with a genuine smile plastered across my face ^^

This year's Christmas Eve's like so pathetic!
So dead. So quiet!
Full workforce, but restaurant's not even full house.
The whole night was passing by like so slowly.
Slacked all we can.
Received and exchanged presents from one another.
Love them all =)
Was very hungry in the first place. Hadn't had anything, only a few pieces of rice grinding in my stomach to last me the whole of today.
So asked everyone if they want to go for supper since we have nothing in mind.
Then tingting offered 3 big pieces of fish to us.
Mostly gobbled by the hungry me and chris.
And so i felt full already.
But we still went ahead for supper in Bishan, had Khui Chup.
I couldn't finish what was in my bowl so just pushed everything to a.a.
Lol. Sway. Who asked you to sit beside me haha.
As usual, i went crazy with toy machines.
Wasted money, popping in several $1 to get several varieties of mini kaleidoscopes.
Then home sweet home.
Was feeling damn tired. So fell asleep throughout the whole journey.

And so... i should get going and retrieve back some beauty sleep since i sacrificed my whole night yesterday.
A new day awaits me tomorrow ^^
Cannot afford to be late again.
As promised.

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Should i even probe in just like that??
Hmmm... a bad move. Shouldn't even have asked for it.
Bah... but at least i know things are going pretty smoothly...

What's a relationship without trust??

It's just the beginning.
There's still alot of follow up for u to do, boy.
Talk to me if there's any problems.
I'm all ears *wink.

Am i being silly or just being too nice??

I'm sick again la.
Wthell... just merely lied bout getting sick what.
Is there a need to punish me like this everytime??
It's just a white lie =(
Well... i think it's a small white lie *shrug

Just 2 more days to Christmas.
What surprises are awaiting for me??

One more week of holiday till school reopens.
And i have so many things in hand that's yet to be done.
Projects!

Ok~ i thought who's the irritating person who keeps knocking on the door!
Right... It's the McDelivery.
You kept my address in your memo isit?!?!
Wthell... i was just talking bout surprises!
Good timing huh? Mr Ang.
But... thanks anyway =)
So sweet of you aww~

Ok... i'm off to watch my movie and eat my brunch.
If not, big boss' gonna 'squeet' my neck =/
Ciaoz.

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Spent the whole day with Dawn aka my twin sister today.
Spent alot of money too. Lol.
Girls *shrug...

Walked around Orchard, joked and talked rubbish.
Time passed damn fast.
But we did have fun =D

Then went for supper with Josh, a.a & Chris.
Thanks so much for the bag =)
Made in HongKong, ok??
Haha.
Damn la. Made Josh angry.
A.a la! All your fault!

Have to make a trip down to Vivo tomorrow.

Busy girl with so many errands to accomplish.

-.-" I just realised i haven't spent time with my family recently.
Felt so bad. Thanks for reminding. I will.

I'm going to perm my hair... again!
This time, not say say only.
Determined already.
Hair oh hair, grow faster please.

Santa, I've been good this year.
Grant my wishes, can??
My wishlist's not up for show only.
Haha!

Resolution No. 4:
I want new clothes, new shoes, new bags & new accessories!

What can i say?? I'm a girl~ *wink.

Should i open another bank account??

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Monday, December 22, 2008
I've become a permanent OT girl.
No need to ask and i'm already in the OT list.
Lol. Tired like hell.

So many things to buy.
But where's the money?!

Hmmm... am i moving on too quickly?
Come to think of it, it feels like i'm rushing against time.
It makes people around think that i just want to do something to numb myself.
But... i'm not! Lol.
Did you see me smile when i see them together??
Haha. I did. I did smile everytime i see them together.
Don't know why la. But just felt happy.
If you ask me, how can i move on so fast. It's only like a couple of weeks since i cried so badly.
Yes. I let go the past and took a step out of square 1.
I just did. If i don't move on, you guys will say i'm dumb. If i move on, you guys don't believe.
What you want me to do. Haha.
It's been a year since we're not together. I should have given up months ago. But waited till now.
At least i tried.
Should be happy for me right??

Christmas dinner with boss on Christmas itself.
Not really looking forward to it.
I'm looking more to clubbing =D
Well, free food, why not? *Shrug

Went to Bugis with a.a today before work.
Purchased a few Christmas presents.
Then did some window shopping.
It's just so funny to bully him la. Haha.
I'm usually the one being bullied. A rare chance for me to find someone i can bully, ok?
Went to work and slacked throughout.
Lol. VIP tables are always the most peaceful area, when you look back to the normal tables, it's like a war just broke out.
Crazy guys, played with helium. Making chipmunk voices.
Then went for supper at some prata place.
You don't have much choice to say 'No' when the person who has the money to cab with you home, wants to eat.

And here i am.
Updating rubbish.
Hee.

Resolution No. 3:
I want to get out of ITE and in to Poly succesfully.

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Saturday, December 20, 2008
Actually he may not be the most suitable person for me.
It's just that i always let myself stay put in square one.
We cannot keep on holding on to the past.

Now that i know he's happy,
I think i should find my own happiness too.
How can i lose to you, right? Mr. W. Tan =)
Haha.
As long as i see a smile on your face, there's nothing i should be worried about.

This time i can really say,
I'm truly happy.
No more sorrows hidden behind a smile.
Because that someone i always loved, is blissed.

Just a silly girl,
doing stupid things.
A simple girl,
Waiting for a simple true love.

Awaiting for a better tomorrow =)
I deserve better, don't i?

Those who wants to change their fate,
Must know how to be brave,
And know how to sacrifice.

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Friday, December 19, 2008
YAY~! The 500th post!!!
Haha.

I'll update abit of what i did yesterday while waiting for the drama to buffer =)

Hmmm was supposed to go out with amirul in the afternoon yesterday.
But cancelled it 'cause i have to leave early.
We'll go out some other time k? ^^
We'll be able to find your white shirt for your grad night.

So met a.a and went to E-Hub.
Really nothing much there. Still say 'town' area hor!
Had dinner at BBQChicken and then watched IpMun.
It's a cantonese name, Ip Mun (eep-mun), not I.P Man or Ip Man (eep-Man) WRONG!
It's Ip Mun (eep-mun). Get it?? Don't paisei yourself when buying tickets ah. Lol.
Anyway... it's a nice movie! It's as nice as Fearless (Huo Yuan Jia) ^^
Those who loves action movies should really watch this.
*Raise hand! I love action movies~ =D

Ooh. Big M's banana milk tastes nice ^.^

Starting to find him cute. Really cute. Haha.

I just think this year's not a good year.
Maybe the next will be better. Pray.

New year Resolution
No. 3: I can have loads of money! =D

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Thursday, December 18, 2008
Busy days before Christmas.
What should i do during Christmas??
Hmmm...

This year's Christmas without him =/
Feel abit wierd.
But still, i'll find some fun =)

This whole week's a busy week.
Monday - Work.

Tuesday - Out with Bell. Had dinner at Thai Express. Watched FourChristmases. I thought i wouldn't like it. But it turns out to be a nice movie ^^ What is 'families' without 'lies'? hee

Wednesday - Attended PixelLab Camp early in the morning. Disappointing number of people attended but i must admit that the future-Excos-to-be did a good job in organising it. I did enjoy myself.
Rushed back to Causeway to have dinner with Amirul. Then met up to chill somewhere in Sembawang/Yishun with Bell, Josh & Aaron. First time drinking beer, Corona.... I still think beer sucks. LOL. i can get tipsy with just a bottle. Wthell. i suck la. Haha.
I did watch a movie again, Igor. Nice animation. 'Everyone has an evil bone inside them, but it depends on yourself if you want to use it or not.' Which tells, noone is born evil.

Thursday (which is today) - I'll update again tonight or maybe some other time =)

Friday (which will come tomorrow) - Work.

Saturday (which will come after tomorrow) - Whole day of work.

Sunday - Maybe going out in the day and then work in the night.

Busy busy lady~

Enough to keep me occupied.
Christmas is just next week.
There's still so many presents i have yet to buy.
Must hurry hurry =)

Resolution No.2
I want to be loved! <3

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Monday, December 15, 2008
It's the holidays!
But still, there's so many things to do =/


Putting a very strong front.
That i realised i neglected my own health.
I'm not refusing to eat, but just don't feel hungry.
I don't think i actually forced myself to smile.
But i'm really not affected.
Yet, i don't feel really happy too.
Hmmm... i think i'll get better =)
Soon.


Did quite alot of things to occupy myself recently.
Watched Bolt with my brother.
Been through unlucky days by having irritating teachers to ruin my day early in the morning.
I'll tell you bout it later on.
Cried till there's no more tears left for me to shed.

Went to Alexendra Rd to have Japanese buffet with Sam, Simon, David and Marcus on Wednesday.
Funny people are always fun to be with.
Was suppose to be a farewell dinner for pong, but in the end it didn't turn out what we expected it to be.
But it's ok~ All the best to him in NS =)

Most of my days were spent working.

A day off from work yesterday.
So went out with Chris, Josh and Aaron.
A rubbish bunch. Ok. Not everyone, but just the 2 guys.
Had steamboat for dinner. Felt alittle being tormented after having food stuffed continuously.
The crazy person? A.A.
Then to TheCheesecakeCafe for dessert.
It was a really cozy place to really chill.
The atmosphere's there. Cakes are splendid.
I'm not a cheesecake lover but i have to admit the cheesecakes there was... 2 thumbs up ^^
Had good laughs with nonsensical people around.
Well, i did have a great time after all.

Finished watching CornerWithLove, ThreeDadsAndOneMom.
Catching MissNoGood & half way through InvincibleShanBaoMei.
All are good dramas. You guys should really catch them when you're starting to rot at home.

I just lost a friend yesterday.
Hmmm she declared our friendship's over.
Should i just let it stay that way??

My Top10 new year 2009 resolutions.
Number 1: I want to be happier all year round.
I'll continue my resolutions one by one =D

Sorry if my entry looks abit messy.
I just chucked in anything that comes into my mind.

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Thursday, December 11, 2008
I've thought it through.
It may just be for the better.
For you and for me.

For so many years, i've been stuck in square 1, not plucking up enough courage to move forward.
When you started moving forward, and tried not to look back, i always pulled you back.
Both of us had been selfish.
Wanting to keep each other by our sides, and just stay the way we were.
Even though we knew we wouldn't be happy, we still repeatedly make the same mistakes.

I've been thinking.
I still love you, you're still as important in my life.
But because i love you, that's why i should let you go.
I want you to be happy, to be able to find the suitable someone who could give you happiness.
It may be abit weird without you around, but i'll try.

Although we cannot continue creating more memories, i'm contented that we get to create enough memories for us to remember and laugh about when we think back.
Thank you for accompanying me, protecting me and taking care of me these few years.
We teared, we laughed, we played.
The times we had were wonderful, counting out the bad times.
But we did walk through multiple thick and thin together.
Memories are strange things.
Sometimes, the more you try to forget,
The clearer it would be.
Sometimes, the harder you try to remember,
You’ll discover that it’s like a blank piece of paper.
You can never find any trace of it,
No matter how hard you try.


It doesn't matter anymore.
Do you love me at all? Am i important in your life?
How come you captivated my heart so easily,
Yet I can’t find a way to grab your attention?

All these questions, i always wanted to know.
But i think i should just let them remain with a question mark.
Doesn't matter if the answer you would give me is a good one or a bad one.
At least i know. I did have your heart once. I had been loved by you once.
And i guess that's enough.

You're the only guy i shed my tears so many times.

Let this be the last time i tear for you.
Then i'm going to smile and face you as a friend, i hope you'll accept me as a good friend.
A person you can trust and talk to with ease.

Like you once said, we both clearly knows, that you're not my type of guy, and i'm not your type of girl.
Maybe you're right. But i'm still glad that we knew each other.

There's alot you've told me about, and they will always be remembered.

Maybe this is your way to make me choose to let go and give up on you.
Well, you kindof succeeded =)
Thanks. Hugz.

Always remember, I, Cherlyn Lok, will forever be here, just a ring and a turn away.
Always be there for you ^^
Like i always did.

You once asked me.
"What do i have in me that mesmerised you so deeply? What did i do to make you love me so much?"
This is my answer for your question.
"What is true love?
True love is actually very simple.
Wearing simple clothes,
Living in a simple house,
Simply living through the days bickering,
And still, you’ll feel blissful.

Just wanted to live the days with you around.
That is true love."


This should be the last entry i would be brooding bout you.
I don't know if you'll be reading this.
I just hope you understand and appreciate my goodwill.
I come with peace. Not war.
If we have to separate,
Then let us do it happily.

Get it? Wilson Tan =D

Love knows how to forgive but it does not know regret.
I love you with a heart that dotes on you.

Happy I cried,
Because my hard work
Has received your gentle response.
Sad I cried,
Because I admit my loss
That I’ll never be able to keep your heart.


We can’t return to the past, yet we can’t see what is ahead of us.
This is why i chose to move on.

I'll make you realise that it's your loss that you lose me.
Bleahz~ ^^

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Monday, December 08, 2008
I'll just update another post while waiting for my drama to buffer.
If not i'll never get to 500 posts. Lol.

Haiz. Felt so wtf these days.
Been brooding and not myself.
Everyday there's sure to be someone who told me, "hey, how come you look so lost and tired??"
Yeah, i AM feeling lost and very tired.
Mentally and physically.
Broke down alot of times.
Going to collapse anytime.

I don't even feel hungry when i got gastric.
That's definitely the extreme for me already.
I never got gastric before. Ever.

I don't know why the sudden change.
And i obviously don't appreciate it at all.

I'm glad my dearest friend liked my first ever masterpiece.
A black cat's head =)
The first and only time i tried sewing a toy in my whole entire 19 years.
And guess what. It's a success! 'Cause it looks like a cat head with no doubt.

No matter what happens.
I've been assured that there's wonderful people around, caring and loving me, ready to give me a big hug.
And i really appreciated that.

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Friday, December 05, 2008
Slowly facing the music.

Had a very 'small' birthday celebration at Friends.
It's Bell's 21st birthday!
One huge step into the adult world =)
Had the chef to bake the birthday cake.
I thought how small the cake can be, when joshua told me, "Eh... I think the cake would be quite small lei. How to feed everyone?!?!"
Lol. It's not a normal standard size lo.
And it tastes really nice.
I never liked tiramisu, but well, this is definitely one tiramisu i would want to try ^^
Had a spread bought from chompchomp. And my favourite, since i was little, SPARKLING JUICE!!! All the flavours, josh bought them all!
Haha! Replace champaigne with sparkling juice. Nice~
Had so much fun and laughter.
Aaron showed off his magical cigarette bought online at $100!
Tricked us with the special effects.
I swear it's really damn fun.
It makes people think you're really smoking.
Inhale. And the tip of the cigarette will light up, exactly like a real one.
It taste abit minty but definitely no harm to the body.
Exhale. You really see smoke blown out from your mouth. Making you look exactly like a real smoker.
Haha! A good way to fool your friends.
But damn expensive to own one la.

Aaron.A. if you have so much money to spare.
I don't mind you donating some into my wallet =D
Any amount will do. Doing good deeds can minus karma points.

After everything, i felt so damn tired. I just lazed in Josh's backseat and dozed off.
Woke up a few times and realised that he drove us to Geylang one round to show Joan and Snow, the 'bustling nightlife' along the streets and alleys. Wthell. Haha! Both of them keep going "Wa~ You see you see... Some quite pretty ah" LOL!
Pretty but filthy. Is that the only job we have here in Singapore??
I don't believe in this kind of fast cash la.
Actually there's no such thing as earning fast cash in my life dictionary.
Every hard earned money are all from working hard in a decent way.
It took me almost 3am to reach home. God. Damn tired.
But still, have to thank Josh for so so many things.
Very grateful =)

Chris gave me 2 free tickets.
Yay! I can watch Bolt with my brother next week! ^^

If i said i'm fine and totally alright, I'll definitely be lying without batting my eyes.
If i said i'm happy, it would not be totally true as well.
But i'll try, i'll try to stay happy.
I'll try to show you that i can do it even without you by my side.
I want to show you that losing me is your loss, and not the other way round.
I've tried for many years. Yet i'm still trying, and it doesn't get me anywhere nor did i get what i wanted.

All i want now is for you to be happy and alright.

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You and i know that i'll always be a ring away if you need someone to vent your anger to, need someone to talk to =)
Although i know that in the end, you'll both make up, at least i got my message across.

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Thursday, December 04, 2008
You may be wondering.
It's almost 2 in the morning, when i have school tomorrow and i'm still up.
Right. I just couldn't get myself to sleep.
Although i can feel that my eyes are heavy.
Nothing seems right for me these couple of days.
Everything just happened so suddenly and seemed to change after overnight.

Went to Hotpot Cuisine to have Wanni's and Bell's advanced birthday celebrations.
When i was just planning to bring you there some time later.
But everything's just too late.
And i don't know what exactly happened.
After which, we went for a competition of bowling. Girls VS Guys.
That's when i had a DoubleStrike on the last turn, for like the first time.
Well, we had fun, no doubt.

Everything just came crashing down.
I know it's not the first time.
But i still couldn't take it.
It's still a big blow to me despite the numerous disappointments.

Cried till my eyes were puffy the next morning.
My pillow and teddy were wet due to my continuous tearing.
I felt so miserable. But who cares.

We were still ok just last week.
It's just so not right.

I wish everything would be back to normal.
Just like how i want it to be.
I don't ask for much.
But i realised i didn't cherish what i should have.
Honestly, is it totally my fault that it turned out like this??

Happy, i cried.
It's because of your hand which,
Had once promised to lead me forward.
Sad, i cried.
It's because of my hand which,
Couldn't find the future you spoke about.
Good tears and Bad tears,
I've shed them all for you.
Affection and sadness are both the reasons.
But after you stopped loving me,
Only bad tears slowly flowed continuously.
I only hope after i stopped thinking of you,
There will only be good tears slowly flowing
And good smiles accompanying me.

You walked forward,
you moved on,
And never looked back again.

You knew what i wanted.
Now it's not your heart.
But just you, to start talking to me,
And stop acting like you don't know me at all.

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Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Please don't give up on me.
I love you too much to let go.
Don't let me suffer alone.
Please.

I know what i did wrong.
I just need another chance.
I really just need another chance to turn things around.

Please don't let me go so easily.

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The profile
Cherlyn
20 years of age
Ordinary. Simplified. And easily understood.
I ♥ my life!
May Lady Luck be with me

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